Chapter 9: Assurances and Bargins

Jack stared at John for a long moment before spinning on his heels and exiting the room. He had to get away from him, he couldn’t stand the tension any longer. He stormed up into the hub and went over to look at Ianto. He stood and watched him quietly, thinking hard as to what he should do.

He wanted so much to lie down next to him and hold him close, but he knew he couldn’t disturb him. He just stood there and watched as Ianto’s eyelids fluttered in the forced sleep. He looked so small under the bulky duvet, so child like and fragile. He noticed Owen coming towards him and quickly looked up, searching for the two women.

“What did he say?” Owen stood a few feet away and folded his arms, looking from Ianto to Jack and back again. “Did he tell you how to stop it?”

Jack shook his head and sighed, turning away from Ianto completely to face Owen and recounting all he’d been told about the drug’s effects. “There’s an antidote for it.” He rubbed his eyes, trying to phrase the following part of his news. He looked up to see the hope in Owen’s expression and sighed again. “He won’t give it to me unless… Unless I give him a chance to change my mind.”

Owen looked puzzled, his hands moving to his hips as he cocked his head slightly at Jack, who ruffled his hair with both hands and made a frustrated noise as he tried his best to rework what he meant. “He wants to prove that I would be happier away from here… With him.”

He made another frustrated noise, rolling his sleeves up past his elbows and turning back to look at Ianto. “I need to talk to him, Owen… I’m not making a decision without him.” Owen shook his head.

“I can’t do that, Jack. Any more blocker within 24 hours of the last dose and his brains will be mush for a week…” Owen walked over and patted him on the back. “Jack, this is your decision. Either we let Ianto continue sleeping, risking any past injuries that will come up, and break John down for the antidote.” He looked seriously at Jack. “Or, you can do what John wants you to do and stop Ianto from having to go through any more hell…”

Owen left the question open and walked away, hands in pockets, leaving Jack chewing on his lip and staring at Ianto’s troubled face. Suddenly, he twisted around and made his way back down to the cells and faced John. He stood up and smirked at Jack, knowing exactly what was coming.

“What do you think you can do to change my mind?” Jack stood there, stony faced and livid as he watched John’s face light up completely. His eyes glittered and his teeth were as white as ever as he grinned. Letting out a short laugh, he came up to the Perspex and leant against the door.

“Well… For a start, let me out of here and introduce me to your lovely team-mates…” His eyes flashed. “Including eye-candy.” The challenge hung in the air between them for a moment before Jack unlocked the cell and allowed John to come out. However, he placed a hand on his chest and stopped him in his tracks.

“I need those throwing knives you have tucked in you underpants first.” John growled a little before reluctantly pulling the daggers from his trousers and placing them in John’s outstretched hand.

“I figured you would’ve trusted your team to have stripped my weapons from me.” The innuendo hung silently as he smiled sweetly at Jack, who just sneered at him.

“They don’t know you as well as I do.” He removed his hand from John’s chest and let him out of the cell, standing behind him and allowing him to make his way through the hub. He was chattering away carelessly, seemingly happy with the devastation he’d caused to Jack’s world. They made their way through the corridors and up into the main workspace, John exclaiming in pleasure as he looked up to heights of the ceiling and the pterodactyl circling the water tower.

“I honestly never thought I’d get to see this place again!” He turned to Jack and kissed him hard on the mouth, pulling back and grinning at the look of disgust on his features. “Now, come on… introduce me properly!” Jack pushed him in the small of the back and made him walk in front of him round to the desks. Tosh looked up, alarmed, and Gwen looked up sharply and opened her mouth to object loudly. Jack silenced her with a look of pure venom and then ignored her. He was about to do the introductions to everyone when he noticed John kneeling down by Ianto, looking at him with a curious expression on his face.

“He looks different to how I remembered him…” He looked up when he saw Jack’s feet move next to him.

“Fear and terror do things to a person’s face…” His voice was hollow as he too looked down at Ianto, ignoring John.

“I’m guessing you don’t want him to suffer that for much longer… correct?” He looked up at Jack and his eyes were glittering menacingly again. “Shall we skip the niceties?”

Jack reluctantly ripped his gaze away from his lover’s face and met John’s stare. He nodded sharply and moved off towards his office, John instinctively following him around the base. He held the door open and John carried on through into the room, taking a seat in the chair in front of Jack’s desk. Jack closed the door, locked it securely and took a place in his desk chair. He looked at John and felt a little uneasy. What was John going to ask of him?

“I’m not going to do anything we’ve never done in the past…” John’s voice was suddenly business like as he looked Jack hard in the eyes. “One night. That’s all I need to change your mind about everything.” Jack leaned back in his chair a little more and looked thoughtfully back at John, considering the proposition.

“Do I get time to consider it? Thinking time, as it were.” John studied his finger nails and looked up after a moment, nodding.

“Sure… You get 24 hours.” He smiled then pointed at the sofa pushed into the corner of the room. “I’ll set up bed in here then. Come find me when you’ve sorted things out, I’m knackered from the trip!”

Jack stood up and flung the door open, walking round to the others, his eyes automatically flicking to Ianto’s face. He felt his heart sink a little as Ianto continued to sleep involuntarily. He felt guilty for forcing this onto him, but he couldn’t see any other option. He was about to kneel down when John stuck his head around the office door, the wolfish grin back on his face.

“The sleeping pills won’t work, by the way! They won’t prevent the attacks happening!” His tone was almost gleeful at the look of horror on Gwen’s face and the small gasp that Tosh let escape. Owen swore violently and kicked the wall. Jack just closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

He gingerly pulled back the duvet from the young man’s body and straightened him out. He lifted his t-shirt and checked his torso for any new injuries, finding none. Not allowing himself to feel any relief, he rolled up the legs of Ianto’s pyjamas and checked the skin underneath, again finding nothing. He leant his elbow on the edge of the sofa and rested his forehead in his hand, unsure of what to do. As if to make up his mind for him, a small patch of blood starting to soak through the dark material of the t-shirt. Jack pulled it up again to see a long, deep gash across Ianto’s stomach appear before his eyes, deepening every second until it was pouring blood. Another was opening next to it, a little higher up.

Jack and Owen swore violently as the second gash grew to the same depth as the first, pouring out the same copious amount of blood. Scooping Ianto up, Jack carried him down to the autopsy bay, following Owen. They lay him down on the table and fastened the restraints for when he woke up.

Working quickly, Owen stitched and cleaned the wounds, more supplies at the ready in case any more wounds decided to open up again. Jack started to hook him up to the monitors, making sure he had a steady heartbeat before turning back to look at him. There were a few moments of frail hope before another gash opened up, this time on his upper leg, deep in his thigh. Owen swore fluently and treated the new wound. They both held their breath and waited. No more cuts appeared and Owen let his breath out loudly.

It was premature. A sudden, manic beeping made Jack’s heart stop. He looked, wide eyed, at Ianto, trying to find the new injury, not seeing anything on his chest or legs to be causing it. He couldn’t see anything…

Wait.

He looked down at the floor and he felt the bottom of his stomach fall from it’s place. There was a growing pool of blood being fed from both sides of the operating table. Time seemed to slow as Jack looked at Ianto’s wrists, both hanging over the edge of the metal. There were several ragged slashes on each, blood steadily pouring out. He felt tears prickled his eyes and fall, tumbling over his cheeks. Owen noticed the source of the bleeding and hoisted Ianto’s hands into the air, applying pressure to both wrists.

“GWEN! TOSH!” He bellowed, the other two running down the stairs within seconds. “Take his wrists and apply as much pressure as you can. No matter what, keep them in the air.”

He handed the limp body parts over and dived for the cool cupboard, pulling out two units of Ianto’s blood type, hurriedly hanging them up on a hook and inserting a central line to get the fluid into Ianto, swearing at the amount of blood still trickling over his arms. He quickly tied off the limbs with rubber strips and told Gwen to let her side down, ready to stitch up the blood vessels. After a few agonising minutes, he handed the arm back to Gwen, ordering her to apply pressure and hold it up again. Moving around to Tosh’s side of the table, he repeated the process, checking the monitors for a change in Ianto’s vital signs. His heart rate was starting to pick up slightly as the blood was returned to him at a snail’s pace. He allowed a moment to look at Jack standing at the end of the table, his tear stained face over Ianto’s, watching the young man desperately.

He waited for the monitors to show a healthier rhythm before going back to the hand Gwen was holding and pulling a chair up. He dismissed Gwen, who went to stand against the wall and observe the procedure, and pulled a light over the arm, grimacing at the state of the flesh he had to repair. Shaking his head a little, he slowly started to stitch together the skin, first with large stitches to hold it together, then with smaller ones to close up the cuts. 10 minutes later, he moved around to the other side, treating Tosh in a similar fashion, though slightly less controlling.

He began to worry about the length of the attack. Ianto had been down for much longer than any of the previous times. He stole another glance at Jack, who looked up at the exact same time, the same thought clearly visible on his face.

Owen quickly set to work fixing the second wrist and finished it slightly faster. This hand was obviously the first one Ianto had attacked, as it was a lot neater and cleaner. Sighing, he pushed himself back from the table and went to get some dressings and bandages. He placed a self adhesive gauze patch on each of the gashes on his main body and then wrapped a bandage around each wrist, keeping them tight to support the healing process even more.

Then they all sat back and waited. Millions of questions buzzing in the minds of all four people. Why? When? How? All wondering why they’d never known about it. They just waited and the minutes ticked by again. Jack looked up at the clock on the wall several minutes later still, counting how long Ianto had been unconscious. It had been over half an hour, and he was showing no signs, whatever they may be, of waking up. He sighed and stroked Ianto’s cheek gently, willing him to open his eyes, wondering whether this time would be the coma.

The thoughts kept tumbling through his mind. He’d never seen the scars on Ianto’s body, never noticed the gashes on his wrists. Had it been because of him? Because of Lisa? Did he do it when Jack had suspended him from work for a month? There were too many questions, and every time he thought of one, a dozen flared up in it’s wake. His thoughts tumbled and catapulted through his mind, grief, fear and guilt building with every second.

About 10 minutes later, the sharp intake of breath made Jack’s heart leap. Ianto was breathing raggedly, his eyes staring around wild and unseeing as Jack held his face between his hands and stopped him moving. He was crying again, both of them were.

“Ianto.. Ianto, listen to me… Please…” Ianto couldn’t hear him, he just tried to sit up, gripping the edges of the bed and yelling as he tried to get free from his restraints. Owen jumped up and held his feet down as he started to hit his heels off the table. Jack just kept on holding his face, staring into his fearful blue eyes, longing to see him safe and comforted again. “Ianto! It’s me, it’s Jack! You’re safe!”

He stopped struggling a little, his eyes flickering between recognition and fear. Eventually, they locked onto Jack’s and he gazed pleadingly up at him. “I’m going to make you better… I know how to stop it all. I’m going to make it stop.” Jack gritted his teeth painfully against the tears and kissed Ianto lovingly on the lips, savouring the taste like a convict savours his last meal before the noose. Smiling briefly, he let go of Ianto’s cheeks and walked up through the hub, dragging Gwen with him, pushing her into his office to face John.

“Give her the antidote, watch her leave then lock the door.” Jack’s voice was a monotone as he tried to control the emotions raging inside him. “You can have your chance.” 

Chapter 8: Enlightenment

Jack was still sitting in his office, still staring at the object sitting on his desk. The pulsating lights were slightly hypnotic, flashing and whirring gently as the scanned the surrounding area for any sign of the DNA’s origin. No such luck. Jack sighed and tapped his foot on the floor. Ianto would normally bring him a coffee around about now. It was getting pretty late on in the day, and he normally had a jam doughnut and a cup coffee to tide him over for the next hour or so before the Chinese or the pizzas came.

He was remembering all the good cups of coffee he had enjoyed at around this time when a knock on the door came, a gentle smell of roasted coffee beans drifting through the small gap in the door as it was pushed open. For one fleeting moment, he thought he saw Ianto, his boyish grin revealing itself as it so rarely did in the hub. All hopes were crushed a moment later as Tosh came through the door holding a paper Starbucks cup. She looked a little hurt at the deflated look on his face.

“Oh! No, Tosh, don’t worry, please, that wasn’t directed at you!” He smiled, took the coffee from her and gestured to the seat on the other side of his desk. He propped his feet up on the surface and took a mouthful of the coffee. It was good, but it had zero personality. “I just… I thought you were Ianto for a moment, that’s all.”

“Jack… Owen will find out what’s wrong, he always does.” Tosh smiled comfortingly and Jack was happy she was there. She had a naturally calming presence, and he’d always enjoyed being in her company on a particularly stressful day. “Besides, you seem to think John will turn up sometime soon, so I’m sure you can him to straighten everything out.”

She was trying her best to help but Jack just shook his head. “The fact that I think he’s coming back isn’t a good omen for Ianto… John will relish in his suffering and try to push him out of the picture for good.” He placed a hand on the desk and looked directly at Tosh. “We can’t let that happen. If anything even remotely suspicious happens, I want to know. Anybody gets killed in an unusual way, thrown off a building, stabbed with a sword, I want to know about it, understood?”

His voice was stern and his eyes mirrored it evenly. Tosh simply nodded and stood up. “Don’t worry Jack, we’ll get to the bottom of this… You’ll see.” She smiled briefly and left the room, pulling the door to behind her. Jack finished his coffee and followed, pocketing the device to track John. He wanted to see how Ianto was getting on but a sudden, irrational fear struck him. Forcing himself to move forwards, he walked around the hub and down to Tosh’s station and the sofa behind it.

He looked at Ianto and smiled grimly. He had a frown on his face and there were the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes, despite the amount of sleep he’d gotten over the past day. Jack stroked his hair gently again, kissed him for a second time on the forehead and sighed before reluctantly moving away to find Owen.

As per usual, the doctor was down in the autopsy room, dealing with the slides he’d made up of Ianto’s blood. Leaning on the rail at the top of the room, he looked down at the computer screens. He would always be in awe of Owen’s ability to read the graphs and decipher them as meaningful information. Owen seemed to sense Jack there and looked up.

“I’m just running some more tests, but I still can’t find anything unusual. There’s no drugs or pathogens in his system apart form a little bit of the common cold.” Owen scratched his head and sighed. They’d all been sighing a lot that day.

“Well, you can go home now if you want. You should all go and get some rest… We may have another stressful day tomorrow.” Jack rubbed his eyes with one of his hands and blinked a few times, ruffling his hair as he did so, letting it flop back over his face. When he looked back at Owen, his face was covered in incredulity.

“Jack, you can’t be serious. I’m not leaving you and Ianto in the hub on your own… And for some reason, I get the feeling that the girls won’t either.” He frowned. “We’re in this as a team… Besides, what if he passes out again? I need to be able to treat any injuries that may come up as soon as I can.” Jack looked at him, nodded and left the room, returning to stand in the hub with his hands on the top of his head, looking around.

Tosh was at her station, stealing glances at Ianto every so often to check he was okay, Ianto was deep in a troubled sleep that he couldn’t come out of and Owen was in the autopsy room. Gwen, however, was missing.

His pocket was starting to make a strange humming noise and he jumped, his heart in his throat. Before he could claw the device out, the warning siren went off to alert the team to the door being opened. Gwen was storming towards him, an extremely angry look on her face. Jack barely had time to form the first syllable of a question when his answer came.

Framed in the middle of the doorway was a man standing with his feet planted slightly apart, his arms folded across his chest and an exceedingly smug look on his face.

Jack roared, the fury from earlier rekindling in his eyes, and lunged at the new figure in the hub. His fist connected loudly with the man’s jaw and he went sprawling to the floor. Without skipping a beat, he took Jack’s legs out from under him and pinned him down on the floor, grinning like a shark.

“Well hello again, Jack! What a pleasant surprise.” His eyes bored into Jack’s, but he was impervious to any hints of sexuality from the man as the memories of Ianto’s haunted face flickered in front of him. He growled and flipped them over, using his weight as an advantage to get the better of the smaller man.

“What have you done to him?!” He lifted John’s shoulders a little and slammed them hard into the floor, causing him to wheeze slightly as he dared Jack to do it again, the blood in his mouth from Jack’s right hook to the jaw was making his voice a little crackly, so he swallowed audibly.

”I slipped him a little present… didn’t he like it?” His eyes glittered ominously, but Jack was too quick. His hand darted down to the sword at John’s waist and he ripped it from the scabbard, holding it to John’s neck, nicking the skin a little and watching a bead of blood spring from the soft skin under the cold metal.

“Tell me what you’ve done, you bastard.” Jack’s voice was low and menacing. The was a flicker of fear in John’s eyes before it vanished and the smirk returned.

“Now, now, Jack… Temper! You can’t cut my throat before I tell you how to help eye-candy… You know that.” Jack cursed himself silently, but continued to press the blade against the flesh of John’s neck. He didn’t want him thinking he was right. He wanted to keep just enough doubt in his mind to make him tell all. He watched carefully for a flicker in the man’s eyes and felt a thrill of triumph as he saw it again. John gulped and his smirk slipped.

“Okay! Okay…” His voice was hoarse from the weight of the blade on his skin and the tension in his muscles as he tried to stop any more blood from being drawn. “You know what it is already Jack… We used to call it John’s Little Helper… remember that, Jack? When we interrogated people?!”

Jack was watching for any sign of a lie, which was dangerous ground for John, as he lied at every possible opportunity without batting an eyelid. “If you’re lying to me… I swear, if one word from your mouth then wasn’t the truth…” He pushed the blade a little harder, cutting the skin lightly, making John yelp in surprise. The fear was there.

“How do I stop it…?” His voice was still low, still as menacing as before. John had never seen him like this… eye-candy must be something special to provoke this kind of reaction in him.

“Were we really so long ago that you’ve forgotten?” John took advantage of Jack’s momentary slip in concentration to reach down and pull one of his many handguns to Jack’s head. “Now, drop the sword, and I won’t shoot.”

Jack grinned then and held the sword firm. “Was your little visit really so long ago that you’ve forgotten?” John’s face flashed with annoyance as he pulled the trigger and the bullet flew like an angry hornet through Jack’s head, a sickening crunch echoing out to the team as his skull cracked.

He was dead within the second, slumping onto John like a dead weight. He felt the air forced out of him and he found himself completely immobile, unable to move Jack’s weight off himself with one arm stuck out to the side, holding the gun, and the other trapped between the two torsos. He just rolled his eyes as Gwen and Owen, both holding guns, moved towards him.

“Bloody brilliant…”

“Ianto’s safe, still asleep.” He didn’t even need to ask the question, gripping her arm in response. “And John’s in the cells. Gwen’s threatening him with Janet, I think… Owen’s just there to make sure he doesn’t try any funny business again.”

Jack nodded in approval, stole a quick glance at Ianto’s sleeping body then ran down to the cells, swinging into the room in his usual cavalier style. Moving in front of the Perspex door, he stood in the same stance as John had in the doorway and looked in on the man who was sulking in the corner.

“Can’t die, remember?” He raised his eyebrows as John sneered and turned away. “You better tell me every single thing you remember about cleaning out that drug, and you better tell me fast. If Ianto slips just one more time, you’ll wish you’d never been born.”

John looked up and rolled his eyes. “Always the hero, ‘eh Jack? Ever let Owen take the glory? Or eye-candy for that matter? When was the last time you sat back and let your team take the wheel?” John had moved right up to the door and was mirroring Jack.

“This morning, as a matter of fact.” Jack replied coolly, his eyes challenging John the entire time. “Now, stop playing games. How do I stop this thing from effecting Ianto?”

John was grinning like a shark again. “It wears out on it’s own accord. It enters the blood and settles in the brain, being used up as the body tries to get rid of it. As it’s used, it triggers unconsciousness with hallucinations that mirror all the fear ever felt in the person’s life, starting with the most recent and working backwards. The further back it goes, the longer the person is unconscious. You know you’re nearing the end of the supply in the blood stream when the person goes into a coma.”

Alarm was flickering in Jack’s face as he dared not believe what he was hearing. “And the injuries?”

“The injuries that occurred when the fear was present reoccur, giving the person a lasting reminder of the fear they felt… Mind you, the memories of the phantoms are usually enough to make a person confess.” John stood back and thought for a while in mock sincerity. “You know, if we used it as a torture aid, we’d need to have an antidote for when they broke… It’s all well and good to break down the minds of the people, but you need to stop the hallucinations eventually, to question them and so on…”

John looked up, one arm folded across his chest, holding the other elbow, supporting the hand holding his chin as he looked at Jack. Jack stared back, arms crossed, angry visible in every movement of his body. “What would I have to do to for you to get me this antidote? Enlighten me.”

John was silent for several minutes, just staring into Jack’s eyes. That grin is really getting on my nerves… Jack’s mind was starting to fill up the silence on it’s own when John spoke again.

“One more chance to make you change your mind.” John’s eyes were so sincere, it almost made Jack laugh. There wasn’t a sign of falsehood in his face as he uttered that last sentence. It was that which made Jack more scared than he’d been all day. 

Chapter 7: Recognition

John Hart.

Jack was still staring at the space where his head had been bobbing. Gwen, Tosh and Owen were staring at him, mouths open. All questions were stopped dead in there tracks as the team saw the look of pure fury on Jack’s face. He gently lifted Ianto’s head off his lap and stood up, covering his neck again to make sure the young man didn’t get cold whilst he slept, and he walked to his office.

He sat down at his computer and opened up the file he’d compiled on John. He had DNA samples. That was all he needed to find him.

“OWEN!” The man jumped as Jack leant out of his office and roared across the hub, and quickly walked round and up the stairs to prevent Jack from yelling again, quite sure that it wasn’t going to help Ianto to have Jack screaming for the rest of the afternoon. “Owen! Make me up a syringe of John’s DNA.”

Owen looked nervously at his captain but was met with a steely determination. He didn’t argue, just hurried off to the autopsy room to make up a phial of DNA. Tosh and Gwen watched the whole scene nervously, and both decided they had better stay with Ianto, to make sure he didn’t pass out again whilst Jack was on his rampage. Gwen knelt down by Ianto and made sure Jack’s outburst hadn’t disturbed him. His features were pulled into an unsettled frown, his mouth silently shaping words. At that moment, Gwen felt like his mother, wanting him to get better soon, to be alright again. She sighed and moved away, knowing there was nothing anyone could do to make him better. At least, anyone apart from Jack. She had the sneaking suspicion that Jack held the key to sorting this whole mess out.

She looked up at Jack’s office and saw him pacing around inside. She was distracted as Owen rushed past her, a needle full of pinkish liquid in his hand. “Make way, mad scientist coming through.”

He took the stairs two at a time and hurried into Jack’s office, handing him the syringe and watching as Jack hurriedly injected it into a small machine on his desk. Jack saw the inquisitive look on his face and decided he should explain.

“I can track The Doctor using a DNA recognition hardware. The Doctor’s tells me when he’s within a certain range, so I’m using the same hardware to tell me if the source of this DNA turns up.” He dropped the empty needle on the desk and looked at the device in front of him, a faint glow radiating from some glyphs running down the left hand side of it, a screen taking up most of the surface. “Give it a min-“

A shriek from Tosh made both men leap from the office and stare wildly around the hub, half expecting an intruder. Jack’s eyes fell on the sofa with Ianto lying on it. The duvet had been ripped back and it showed him with cuts and bruises on his face, blood oozing from his nose.

He leapt down the stairs, almost falling as he hit the floor, skidding on his knees to Ianto’s side. He’d passed out again in his sleep and there was no real way to tell how long he’d been down this time, just that it had happened sometime after Jack had left him.

Owen swore violently as he came up behind him, drawing up Ianto’s medical records on Tosh’s computer screen. Surely enough, the entry before the bruised leg were the facial injuries obtained on their trip with the cannibal village in the country.

“The wounds are getting further back in time…” He was musing out loud, wondering what was going on. Jack wasn’t paying any attention, just watching Ianto’s face, stroking his hair, willing him to wake up. “If he doesn’t get a chance to heal the ones he has… If they start coming too regularly… They’ll just keep piling up…”

A shocked silence filled the hub and all eyes were on Ianto. The minutes crawled by, maddeningly slowly, until, with a loud gasping sound, Ianto woke up again. The fear was back, stronger than it had been before. He sat up, clutching at the back of the sofa and at Jack’s shoulder, gulping down the air as if he hadn’t tasted oxygen in a lifetime.

He pushed violently against Jack, struggling to stand up, but Jack was too strong for him. He gripped his arms tightly and held him in place, battling against Ianto’s strangely powerful body. Jack’s hand slipped and Ianto got an arm free, darting for the doorway. Jack lunged at him and gripped him round the waist. Ianto was still struggling, but his thrashing was weaker now. Jack pulled him sharply around to face him, moving his hand from Ianto’s arm to his face, forcing his eyes to look back. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he looked into Ianto’s empty eyes, hollow of all emotion except a toxic, overwhelming fear.

He ran his thumb over Ianto’s cheek and carried on looking straight at him.

“Ianto…” At the sound of his name, Ianto seemed to be jerked out of his trance and his eyes, although still haunted by fear, contained the spark that made him Ianto Jones. Tears were spilling silently over his cheeks as he looked at Jack.

“Please… Make it stop…” His voice was barely more than a whisper as his knees buckled and he started to sink to the floor, Jack following with his arms keeping Ianto as close to himself as he could. They sat silently on the floor, swaying backwards and forwards, Jack feeling his own tears running down his face. He had to make this stop.

The team stood at a respectful distance for a few minutes before Owen went over and crouched down, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder and grimacing in sympathy. “Jack, we need to take a blood sample… We need to find out what John did to him.”

Jack turned his head slightly and nodded in agreement, moving his arms a little to hook them under Ianto’s arms and pull him to his feet. He felt a hand grip tightly to the front of his shirt and the tears that had stopped were threatening to return. He just carried on pulling Ianto up and the young man rested his head on Jack’s shoulder as the three of them moved down to the autopsy room, Gwen and Tosh following.

“There’s nothing unusual at the moment, apart from a trace of the sleeping pills, the blocker and the pain killers.” He looked stumped to Jack… and he was. Owen, the mastermind medic, had come up against something he’d not seen before, but the light of challenge flashed in his eyes and he wheeled over to Ianto, checking his now closed eyes and reading off vital signs again. “There’s nothing unusual there either… But maybe I should give him another dose of sleeping pills, until I know what it is.”

Jack looked up, his eyes still a little red and swollen. “Will it stop the… the passing out?” He didn’t really know what to call it. They were almost seizures… but not quite. It was more like he was slipping between two dimensions.

Owen shrugged. “Who knows? But having him sleeping on the sofa again is the safest place for him… I can keep him hooked up to monitors, and I can monitor his brain patterns as he sleeps. I may be able to find something.” The both looked at Ianto, who’s head was shaking from side to side.

“No…” His voice was harsh and sounded unused. “No… I don’t want to sleep… I don’t want to see them again…”

Jack sat down next to him and started to stroke his hair. “See what, Ianto? What’s going on with you, huh?” His tone was soft and encouraging, but it triggered more tears to fall from Ianto’s closed eyes.

“I don’t want to see them… I don’t want to go back there…” His shoulders started to shake as he started to sob. “Jack… Please make it stop…”

Jack hung his head, trying to stop himself looking at Ianto. He couldn’t bare to see him like this, so broken and helpless. “Listen, mate, it’s the only thing we can do… The sleeping pills should knock you right out… The only other thing would be to put you under a general anaesthetic, but that could be too dangerous, and we wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long.” Owen came over and put his hand on Ianto’s shoulder. “We have to do this. The sooner we do this the sooner we can get the whole thing sorted out and over with.”

He squeezed Ianto’s shoulder a little and waited for a reply. After a few moments, he nodded, a slow, short dip of his head and then returned it to resting on the head board. Owen immediately turned around to get the pills and Jack looked up, his eyes moving to Ianto’s face. He was surprised to see Ianto looking back at him, a resigned look on his face. He moved forwards and kissed the young man gently on the lips, for a long, comforting moment, before pulling away reluctantly and letting Owen give him the sleeping pills. Ianto knocked them back then swung his legs off the chair, looking at Jack for reassurance.

For the second time that day, Jack moved his arm around Ianto’s shoulders and supported him through the hub and onto the sofa behind Tosh. He put a pillow at one end and made Ianto lie down, covering him with the duvet again before kneeling down and kissing him on the forehead. Ianto’s hand gripped onto the front of Jack’s shirt again and willed him to stay there. He knelt by the sofa, stroking Ianto’s hair and whispering comforting nothings to him until the hand holding his shirt went limp and Ianto was fully asleep. Gently removing the hand and tucking it back under the duvet, Jack stood up, straight backed, and walked to his office, slamming the door behind him.

He went and sat at his desk, pushing all paperwork to the side, and stared at the pulsating object on his desk. Resting his elbows on the desk, he arched his fingers and resigned himself to the wait.

If he knew John, and he liked to think he did, he’d be turning up to take a look at his handiwork.

Outside the office, Tosh was watching over Ianto, ignoring the worried looks of Gwen and Owen from the other side of the hub. She went over and tucked his hand back up under the duvet, as it had slipped free almost as soon as Jack had settled into his office. Smoothing the covers out over him, she sighed and turned away, finishing the report on the hologram replay device.

Jack was sitting in his office, a cup of coffee in his hands, the scent drifting around the room enticingly. If there’s such thing as heaven in a cup, I’m holding it. He sighed and took a large mouthful of the hot liquid, savouring the taste. He was almost annoyed when Owen turned up expectantly at the door.

“What do you need me for now?” He wore a mock frown of disapproval as he looked at the medic, who was looking rather concerned. He put the coffee down and waved him in. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well, the thing is… Well, it was Tosh who noticed it first but…” Jack had never seen the man so inarticulate as he was then. He frowned slightly, sincerely, and wondered what was going on. “Well, it’s just that when Ianto came around yesterday, it was like when you come back to life…” He trailed off and looked up at Jack nervously, as if this revelation would cause him to fly into a heated rage.

Jack just sat there and looked at Owen.

“Jack?”

“Yes, yes… I heard. And I guess you’re right…” He was desperately hoping that Ianto wasn’t experiencing the same pain he went through when his body regenerated… He would never want someone to go through that, especially not Ianto. His eyes darted to the hatch in the corner of his office, thinking of what lay in the sleep space below.

Ianto hadn’t slept well, despite Jack’s best efforts. He’d experienced another bout of the unconsciousness at around 6 in the morning. He’d only noticed because the constant moving and weak thrashing had halted for several minutes. When Ianto had surfaced, the now familiar look of fear was haunting his eyes. He’d been pale and sweating and the shaking had started almost immediately, his temperature spiking. Jack knew he couldn’t leave him on his own in the flat, so he had decided to bring him back to the hub, to sleep in his bed whilst Jack worked above him.

Ianto had protested and rejected the thought of having to sleep all day, but had allowed Jack to put some thick socks and a hoody on him, leading him by the hand to his car and driving him to the hub. When they’d arrived, Owen was already in there, setting up the files he had to work through. He took one look at Ianto and then rushed to help Jack settle him in his office. When he’d helped support Ianto down through the hatch, he’d disappeared from Jack’s office. When Jack surfaced again, he found Owen coming towards him with a glass of water and 3 white pills in his hand. Without a word, he’d pushed them into Jack’s hands and left the office again.

It had taken 15 minutes to calm Ianto down enough to make him take the sleeping pills. The thought of being unable to escape the dreams had brought the fear back. The look in his stormy blue eyes had almost brought Jack to the edge of crying. He couldn’t bare to see the pain in Ianto’s eyes. The crying and yelling that had occurred over the last hour rang through his mind as he lay down next to Ianto’s shaking figure and wrapped an arm across him, trying to keep him safe. 10 minutes later, Ianto was limp and still, as if he were dead.

Taking one last, wistful look at him, Jack had decided to get his work done.

Owen looked at him expectantly. Jack had almost forgotten he was there.

“Do you think there’s something more than sleep deprivation going on?” Jack stared intently at the medics face, trying to read any subliminal message from the expression.

“I don’t know… Did he pass out more than once yesterday?” Jack wasn’t sure what would come of it, but for the sake of Ianto, he told him as much as he could remember.

“Yesterday morning, in his office, it was like he’d just dropped asleep. His pen fell out of his hand and he slumped forwards, waking up a moment or two later.” His brow furrowed as he tried to remember the events of the past 24 hours. “Then there was yesterday evening, when he was out for just less than a minute. I think it happened twice last night. Once around about midnight, although I’m not sure how long it lasted, and once around 6 this morning. That one was about 5 minutes long.”

The two men sat in silence for a long moment.

“Is there anything else? Apart from the unconsciousness and fever I mean.” Owen had slipped into medical investigator mode, which comforted Jack as he knew how competent Owen was when he was on a case.

“I’m not sure… I noticed a cut on the back of his left forearm last night when he was getting ready for bed… I don’t think I was there yesterday morning, and it doesn’t seem like Ianto to be clumsy enough to hurt himself whilst filling out paperwork.” Jack sat thoughtfully for a minute before jumping up to walk out of his office, Owen following. He looked around and saw Tosh sitting at her desk. He ran down the stairs, taking two at a time and skidded to a halt behind her station.

“Tosh! I need you to look up the CCTV of the Tourist Office yesterday, from when Ianto first went in.” He leant down, leaning an arm on the back of Tosh’s chair. She quickly called up the CCTV and set it to play. “Right, now double the speed.” Jack watched intently as Ianto went about yesterday’s activities at twice the speed. There had been no sign of injury yet. He hadn’t even removed his jacket, let alone rolled up his sleeves. They watched him slump forwards and jerk awake and Jack’s heart did a leap in his throat.

“Okay, so it wasn’t then… Tosh, keep playing the CCTV, watch out for anything that could’ve caused a 2 inch long, horizontal cut on Ianto’s left forearm.” He was about to go back to his office when Gwen’s voice sounded from the other side of Tosh’s station.

“Left forearm? Didn’t he catch himself feeding Janet the other week?” Gwen looked at Owen and he leapt into action. Jack followed him down to the autopsy bay, watching as Owen called up Ianto’s file on the computer.

“THIS is why I keep track of all the injuries you guys get.” He didn’t need to look very far, because the last entry in Ianto’s medical entry read:

-Skin wound to the mid left forearm, horizontal to the wrist. Approximately 2 inches in length. Cleaned and dressed. Obtained through the company of a non human life form in the hub (Janet). Tetanus booster updated. No further action required.-

Jack scanned the words several times and memorised the picture attached to the entry.

“Owen, do we have anything to block the sleeping pills? I think we need to have a little talk with Mr. Jones.” Jack was worried. The team had learnt that if Jack was worried, they should be worried too.

“Ianto! Ianto, it’s okay, everything’s fine. You’re in the medical room in the hub.” Jack was standing next to him, holding his right hand tightly. He looked around and saw Owen on his left side, examining the cut on his forearm. Hang on, the cut on his forearm. That had healed… hadn’t it? Jack patted his leg gently to try and calm him down, but it served the opposite purpose. He yelped and struggled against the restraints again as Jack quickly withdrew his hand from Ianto’s leg. Owen looked at him curiously.

“What’s wrong with your leg, Ianto?” He moved round to Jack’s side of the table and rolled up his trouser leg to reveal a vivid purple bruise on his right thigh, just above his knee. Owen looked at it carefully and examined the computer carefully again.

“You had that bruise last month… Remember? When Jack and Tosh were stuck in 1941… You walked into the desk…” He trailed off, wandering around the room, both Jack and Ianto staring at him. “This bruise looks as fresh as the day you got it.”

Jack pulled up a chair and sat down next to Ianto, still holding his hand. Ianto was confused, but he didn’t trust himself to talk.

“Ianto, are there any other cuts or bruises that you’ve noticed today?” Owen looked at him seriously. Ianto was rather taken aback by it.

“No.” Ianto closed his eyes and tried to stop his head from spinning, and Owen immediately took this as a bad sign, tapping him sharply on the forehead. “Look, I just have a headache and a bit of the flu… I must’ve knocked the cut open again and walked into another table.”

Jack looked at him. “No one cuts their arm in the exact same place and way twice. Especially, not a cut that big. Same with the bruise… Are you sure there’s nothing else?”

Ianto shook his head. It was pounding and he wanted to sleep without being haunted. He just wanted some sleep. He felt Jack’s free hand stroking his arm and desperately hoped that Owen would let him go so he could feel the warmth of Jack's body around him. He stayed still and gripped Jack’s hand tightly, concentrating on thinking about nothing at all. The two men on either side of him were muttering, talking about him.

“… It’s not right…”

“…Painkillers… see what happens…”

“…Dangerous?… passes out again…”

“…sleeping… find out…”

Owen seemed to want to keep him strapped down, but Jack was fighting for an element of freedom. They stayed silent for a moment before Owen tapped him on the forehead again.

“Ianto, we’re going to let you go now. You’re not allowed to leave the hub, and we’d prefer it if you set up camp on the sofa behind Tosh’s station. That way we can all keep an eye on you.” Owen was looking at him whilst deftly undoing the restraints. When they were removed, Jack helped Ianto sit up, his head spinning a little. “Right now, we’re going to give you some heavy duty painkillers to sort the headache out, and we’re going to give you more sleeping pills later on. We’d be overdosing your system to no effect if we gave them to you now, what with the dose an hour ago and the blockers still holding them back.”

Ianto nodded slightly and took the pills Owen handed him, throwing them into his mouth and washing them down with the water in Jack’s hand. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jack. The concern would be too much, he’d break down again. He already felt guilty for what was happening, as he should be helping Jack, making sure he was alright… But instead Jack was supporting him and trying to keep him safe from things neither of them understood. He sighed instead and carried on looking down at the floor. Jack’s hand was still gripping his and his free hand, once more, moved around his shoulders.

“Come on, you’re going to freeze to death down here.” Jack’s voice was soft and kind as he guided Ianto back up into the hub. His legs were shaking and his knees threatened to buckle more than once, but Jack was there every time, keeping him upright. He let Jack sit him down on the sofa as the painkillers started to sink in, dulling his senses a little, but soothing the throbbing pain in his head. He swayed a little on the spot, but didn’t fall. After checking the Ianto could deal with sitting upright for a few moments, Jack disappeared off into his office.

He returned within a few minutes, his arms full of the bedding from his sleep space. He sat down on the sofa to the right of Ianto and let him lie down, resting his head in his lap. Once Ianto was settled, he draped the duvet over him and started stroking his hair gently.

It only took a minute or so for Ianto to drift off into another uneasy sleep. When Jack was sure the young man was out of it, he sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. Gwen was coming over from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand. He smiled as she handed it to him and seated herself in a chair next to Tosh, then took a large mouthful. It wasn’t as good as Ianto’s, but it was better than nothing.

“What’s happening to him?” Tosh’s voice was quiet, her face filled with worry. Jack just shrugged and sighed again.

“Owen’s going to draw some blood later, once the sleeping pills and the blocker are out of him system. It’ll take a day or so for that to be analysed, and hopefully there’ll be nothing in there.” He looked accusingly at the women in front of him. “Have you guys been dealing anything creepy and weird recently?”

Gwen snorted and shook her head. “Apart from the usual, no, nothing. He was really settling into all his new jobs around the place… I can’t believe we didn’t give him more responsibilities sooner. He’s a real sweetheart about everything and he’s a better worker than most of us.” She looked down at Ianto, a motherly affection in her eyes. Jack looked down too, his left hand resting on Ianto’s shoulder, softly rising and falling with his breathing. It was comforting to know that he was still alive in whatever dream he was enduring.

The team were called on during the morning, a simple case of a strange object turning up in someone’s front room. They assured Jack that they wouldn’t need him, that he should stay with Ianto. Reluctantly, Jack agreed. He still hadn’t moved from the sofa, guilty enjoying the feeling of Ianto’s hand on his thigh, gripping it firmly, trust radiating from his touch. The team had returned an hour or so later with pizza, coffee and doughnuts in their hands.

“Hawaiian for you, Jack.” Owen almost threw the box onto his lap, but remembered just in time, putting it on the coffee table in front of him before following the others into the kitchen to get plates. He was all too aware of what Ianto would do if they got melted cheese on any of the chairs.

Leaning forwards gingerly, Jack knocked the lid open and pulled a slice out, taking a bite and sighing appreciatively. He felt the beginnings of a squirm under his stationary left hand and wasn’t surprised when a hand reached out from under the duvet and retrieved a piece of pizza for itself. Jack smiled and looked down, Ianto hungrily chomping on his prize. Jack put the back of his hand to Ianto’s forehead and was pleased to feel it had cooled down from earlier in the day. He laughed as the hand snaked out again and pulled another slice of pizza under the duvet, Ianto busying himself with the second piece.

Owen walked back to Tosh’s station and dropped into her chair, sliding over the floor to hand Jack a Starbucks coffee, placing his doughnut next to his pizza. He hadn’t noticed the noises coming from under the duvet, as the last time he’d seen Jack, the cover was completely obscuring the young man’s head.

“So, anything happened here?” Owen was bored, there hadn’t been anything to dissect on the trip and he felt like the rift was abandoning him. “I mean, any more fits or unconsciousness?”

Jack shook his head, his mouth still full of cheese, ham and pineapple. Swallowing, he took a mouthful of the coffee and looked down at Ianto. “No, he’s just been sleeping. A couple of bad dreams I think, but nothing worse than that.”

They both looked up as Gwen and Tosh walked in, carrying more coffee and food. Gwen put the plate of doughnuts on the table and pulled up a chair as Tosh put down her plates of pizza and dropped into the chair beside Owen. They started to brief Jack on what had happened when Owen shouted in alarm.

“What was that?!” He’d sat upright and spilled some of his coffee on his shirt. He’d seen Ianto’s arm snake out for the third time and withdraw with a doughnut in its grasp. Jack just looked at his face and laughed. Loudly. The indignation on Owen’s face only served to make him laugh harder. It wasn’t until he felt a soft poking on his leg that he stopped and looked down.

“Shhh…” The sleepy tones of Ianto’s voice drifted out from under the duvet, slightly muffled. Jack replaced his hand on Ianto’s shoulder in apology and settled a smile on his face, a glint of amusement in his eyes at Owen’s still glowering face.

The team finished up their lunch with a healthy dose of idle small talk and went back to their stations, the mood lifting at the knowledge of Ianto’s appetite still being there and the fact that he hadn’t passed out again.

Jack remained happily on the sofa, Ianto’s head still in his lap, relief flooding him as Owen declared that he wouldn’t need to administer any more sleeping pills. He spent the afternoon reading files and completing paperwork handed to him various members of the team, occasionally talking to Ianto if he woke up.

When Tosh exclaimed loudly from her station, Jack looked up curiously, the other two making their way around. She pointed at the object sitting on her desk and looked at Jack.

“It’s a holographic replay system, like the one built into your wrist strap.” They all looked down at the leather band before looking back at Tosh. “It seems to have something saved on it… If I press this button… and this one here, then-“

Her words were cut off as the image of a man’s head formed in fuzzy blue lights above the small cylindrical device. Jack recognised the smug grin immediately.

“Hi, Jack! Thought I’d let you know that I got back in one piece, knew you’d pick this up somewhere… You ARE a scavenger after all. Honestly, I can’t believe you’re happy with sitting on that rock and picking up all our junk! We could’ve had the universe, Jack!” Jack got the impression of hands being flung up into the air as the hologram sighed and shook its head. “Just one thing before I go… Has it started yet?”

The eyes twinkled and the mouth twisted evilly before the entire thing blinked out and the device beeped. Jack just stared at it.

And So It Begins... Again
Chapter 5: Capture

The following day was when everything started to change.

The team turned up at their normal times, having enjoyed their surprise day off that Jack had granted them on John’s departure. The bustled in, all at the same time, and lazily made their way to their desks. Jack was standing in his office, surveying the scene. He was impressed. This was the first time he could remember them all being in on time, and smiling! That was a novelty for Torchwood.

It was then that he smiled himself. Ianto had woken up at around 6:30 am and had gone to have a shower and shave before the day’s work. Jack had followed. After a brief yet intoxicating fornication session in the shower, they’d settled on washing each other thoroughly, standing under the hot jet of water in a comforting embrace, Jack behind Ianto, his arms around his waist and his chin resting on Ianto’s shoulder.

But it hadn’t been long before Ianto reluctantly insisted on finishing his morning preparations, finally removing Jack with the promise of a hot coffee once he was satisfactorily groomed for the day. Jack had followed him out of the shower and dried and dressed himself sloppily as Ianto did the same but in a far more respectable and organised manner. He finally shrugged on his waistcoat over his shirt, buttoned it up and straightened his tie, turning to Jack and beckoning him silently out of the shower room.

They made their way upstairs and Ianto had delivered the promised coffee, kissing Jack quickly then moving off to get started on the day’s work.

Jack shook his head to clear it as the team started to look around for him. Walking out of his office, he leaned on the banister outside and looked down.

“Hey, Jack!” Tosh was the first to see him, waving as she did. God, he’d missed her. She was the most dedicated of all of them and the most caring. She seemed genuinely happy to see Jack and it made him feel at home.

“You’ve all got a cup of Ianto’s Magic Coffee in the kitchen, so I suggest drinking it before it goes cold and you ruin his hard work.” Jack was surprised to find that he meant it. Shuddering a little at the memory of yesterday, he walked back into his office and sat at his desk, staring at the little CCTV screen he had tuned into the camera in the Tourist Office. There was a slightly soppy smile on his face as he watched Ianto move around the room with purpose.

He must have watched for almost 10 minutes before it happened for the first time.

In the middle of writing out some paperwork, he dropped his pen and slumped forwards onto the desk, head colliding with the desk sharply. He jerked back up immediately, staring wildly around the room, gasping in the air, hands planted firmly on the desk.

Jack watched to make sure Ianto was orientated again with his surroundings before he looked away. He was probably just worn out from the late night they’d had. He smiled to himself again and carried on with his work, eager for the evening to come.

***

It was nearing the end of the work day and Ianto was almost finished on the document in front of him. It had been a very slow day, no invasions, no mysterious artefacts, nothing. Sighing, he signed the bottom of the page, closed the file and made his way into the hub, tucking the papers under his arm. He went through the usual intimidating corridor and waited for the heavy door to roll back and let him inside.

Jack was walking around to meet him and he looked up and smiled, meeting his eyes briefly. He was about to walked through the door when something echoed in his head and his vision went black. He looked around, the darkness rippling. He was no longer standing in the hub, but in a pitch black space, with nothing but lurking shadows in the corners of his vision. He tried to look at them straight on, but they moved as soon as his eyes did. He felt fear bubbling in his chest and a pain ripped across his left forearm.

A moment later, he was awake, slumped in a heap at the bottom of the wall. He gasped at the air and sat up, fearfully looking around. Jack had just reached him and was crouching down, his strong arms holding Ianto’s prone form tightly. Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack and breathed deeply, eyes closed, trying to forget what he’d just seen.

“Ianto, are you okay? Did you hit your head?” Jack let go of Ianto and made him sit down properly, legs out, back flat against the wall. Owen was crouching on the other side of him, looking into his eyes and pulling out his stethoscope to listen to his heart.

“I… I’m fine… just slipped…” Ianto closed his eyes and continued to breathe deeply, trying to control his erratic heartbeat as Owen undid his tie and lifted his shirt up. As the cool metal disk touched his skin, he flinched and hit his head off the wall behind him. Groaning, he opened his eyes and lifted his hand to rub the sore spot on the back of his skull. “That was uncalled for.”

“Okay, okay… I just need to go through a few routine questions.” Owen grinned a little and put the stethoscope on the floor, taking Ianto’s shoulders and looking the man straight in the eyes. Ianto stared back, his vision a little blurry from the proximity of Owen’s face. “What year is it? And what happened the day before last?”

Ianto feigned a look of confusion and Jack kicked him in the thigh gently. That made him stop and sober up slightly. “It’s 2008 and the day before yesterday was when Jack came home, we chased a blowfish in a sports car and Captain John tried to kill us all.”

Owen nodded in satisfaction and stood up, looking at Jack. “He’s probably just overworked. Did you let him go home for the day like the rest of us?” Jack had his arms folded across his chest an indignant look on his face.

“Of course I did!” Owen looked at him accusingly, then offered a hand to Ianto, pulling him to his feet.

“You, mate, need to go home and sleep. You’ve been working solid hours since him over there buggered off, and I get the feeling you didn’t take advantage of yesterday to sleep.” He patted Ianto on the back and disappeared off into the autopsy room.

“Don’t worry about this paperwork, I’ll file it with the rest of mine.” Gwen smiled kindly at him and walked back to her desk. She pulled Jack to one side as she did so, leaving Ianto looking a little phased as Tosh led him to the sofa to sit down. “Jack, it’s almost the end of the day, why don’t you just take him home and make sure he’s okay. I’m sure we can all handle finishing up for the day.”

Jack looked over at the sofa, the fear still present in Ianto’s face. He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hand, turning back to Gwen. “You’re right… It’s getting late and today’s been quiet. I’ll take him back now. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

Strolling round to his office, he leant through the door, unhooked his coat and twisted around, slipping his coat on in one smooth movement. He walked to the sofa and put a hand on Tosh’s shoulder, indicating that she could leave Ianto now. He was curled up, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands hooked around behind his neck. Jack sat down gently and unlaced his fingers from each other, taking his hand.

“Lets go home, Ianto.” The young man looked up at him and smiled briefly, trust flooding his face. Jack tried to smile back but barely managed it. Instead, he stood up and slipped his arm round Ianto’s shoulders, as much for the young man’s piece of mind as for his.

Gwen and Tosh stood together and watched the two back retreating through the huge rolling door. Tosh’s eyebrows were knitted together in worry and Gwen looked on sympathetically.

“You know what that looked like?” Tosh’s voice was small in the vast expanse of the hub. Owen poked his head around the door to reply.

“It looked like not enough sleep.” His face was etched with disapproval. “It’s almost like he doesn’t think we can manage without him!”

“Remember the time he was ill? And we had to manage be ourselves?” Gwen looked at him pointedly.

“Ah… yes…” With that cleared up, he came round the door fully, puzzled by Tosh’s stare fixed on the door. “You were saying?”

Tosh turned round to look at the other two, the confusion still evident in her face. “When Ianto came round, did that remind you of something?”

Gwen and Owen exchanged mystified looks, not sure what she was hinting at.

“When he woke up… Didn’t it… Didn’t it look like-“

“-Jack coming back from the dead.” Gwen’s words rang out and the silence engulfed them as realisation drew the three sets of eyes to the now closed doorway.

***

Ianto had settled in the passenger seat of his car, trying to ignore the slightly reckless driving that Jack was participating in, praying that there would be a whole car there to drive back to the hub in the morning. He sighed slightly, his forearm itching a little.

“What’s wrong?” Jack’s voice was full of concern, full enough to make Ianto open his eyes and look over at the older man. He was frowning at the road, a look of determination set into his features. “You look pretty pale… Are you sure everything’s okay?”

Ianto just nodded, Jack didn’t need to know what he’d seen when he’d passed out earlier. He’d just think he was crazy and tell Owen not to let him back into the hub for a week… But every time he closed his eyes, the memory of the terrifying shadows came back to him, the fluttering in the corners of his vision, the intense fear that had gripped him. He shuddered involuntarily and Jack put on a burst of speed to get back to Ianto’s flat faster.

It only took a couple of minutes. They were soon parked in front of the neat little building, and Jack was opening his door and leading Ianto out gently. He took hold of his hand and led him up the stairs and in through the door, sitting him down on the sofa before returning to lock up. Ianto watched as Jack kicked his boots off and threw his coat over the back of the armchair.

“Right, I’m staying to look after you, nothing more.” He smiled kindly at Ianto’s puzzled expression and laughed a little. “You don’t need to look so shocked!” Ianto managed a smile and stood up, stretching his arms up towards the ceiling before dropping them down again and shrugging off his jacket. He shuffled silently into his bedroom and tossed the jacket on the bed. Slowly, his fingers fumbling slightly, he undid his waistcoat and shirt, pulling his tie free from his collar and throwing that on top of the jacket. He pulled the waistcoat and shirt off and dropped them on the floor before unbuckling his belt and letting this trousers fall, twisting on the spot to sit down heavily on the bed. He looked up to see Jack leaning on the doorframe, as he’d done two nights previously, a little smirk on his face.

“I thought you were just looking after me.” Ianto bent down and tugged his socks off his feet clumsily, tossing them over his shoulder. He pulled back the covers on his bed and grabbed the dark grey pyjama trousers and baggy grey t-shirt that he liked to sleep in. He looked back up at Jack and smiled a little before walking through the door to the bathroom and locking it behind him.

He heard Jack laugh to himself and walk away, probably to make an attempt as some coffee. Avoiding the mirror, Ianto removed his undershirt and boxers and stepped into the shower, enjoying the feel off the warm water pummelling his back. It was easier to forget the horrors of the day in the warm water.

Eventually, there came a knock on the door and Jack called in. “Everything okay in there?”

Ianto sighed heavily and decided to shut the water off, grabbing a soft blue towel from the railing beside the shower. “Yes, Jack, I’m fine.”

He managed to dry himself and pull his pyjama trousers on before Jack knocked again. This time, Ianto unlocked the door and stood squarely in front of him, his t-shirt slung over his shoulder as he stared into Jack’s eyes. “Jack. I appreciate the concern, but all I was doing was getting dressed.”

He could see Jack bite back a retort as he moved away from the door and back into the open plan kitchen/living room. Ianto’s jaw almost came free as it dropped at the sight in front of him. His bedroom was completely tidy, the abandoned suit and tie hung on a hanger on the door, the shirt and socks in the dirty linen basket in the corner. His bedclothes were smoothed out and the mess of books and bills that had been threatening to drop from the bedside table were stacked neatly on the surface. Ianto was stunned. He wandered out into the living room, pulling on his t-shirt, and found Jack sitting in the armchair, a cup of coffee in his hands. He walked over, placed the coffee on the table and bent down and kissed him gently as a thank you. Jack smiled and stood up, placing a hand on the small of Ianto’s back and directing him back into the bedroom.

“You need to go to sleep.” Jack looked earnestly at the young man and Ianto felt a wave of affection for him. “I should’ve let you get more sleep last night… But as I can’t change time, I can just enforce this on you!” His trademark grin was back on his face as he lifted the covers back for Ianto to climb in, handing them to him to make himself comfortable. Ianto closed his eyes, a half smile playing on his lips and he squirmed himself into a snug cocoon of sheets. He felt Jack’s lips place a kiss on his forehead and then heard him flick the light switch off and suddenly opened his eyes.

“Jack?!” The light flicked back on and Jack was standing in the doorway, concern lighting his eyes again. “Jack, will you be outside? Will you stay?” The concern died down and he nodded silently. He flicked the light off again and walked back into the living room, leaving Ianto alone in the bedroom to sleep. He closed his eyes and found himself drifting off into a slightly uneasy sleep.

It must’ve been an hour or so of peaceful sleep later when it happened again.

The fluttering figures in the corners of his vision were there again, hovering just out of sight, menacing and terrifying. Ianto had turned and ran this time, but they followed, he couldn’t get away. The darkness was rippling silently… Silently? No, there was a soft breathing, a slight rasping and the sound that a predator makes as it sits, waiting to pounce. His heart was racing again as he stared around him, trying to catch more than a glimpse of the shadows. He felt a sharp pain on his thigh and stared wildly around…

He sat up violently, gasping for breath, a sheen of sweat covering his face. It was only seconds before Jack was in the room and kneeling on the bed, holding Ianto’s face gently but firmly in his hands and making him look into his eyes. “You’re okay, I’m here. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” Jack’s voice was sincere and Ianto felt his heart rate slow, giving way to uncontrollable shaking and tears pouring down his face. He flung his arms desperately around Jack and found the strong arms pressing him closer to the warm body. Ianto buried his head into the join of Jack’s neck and shoulder and cried, his breathing ragged.

It wasn’t until his breathing had slowed and the tears had stopped that Jack let him go and stroked his hair, pushing it off his forehead and looking deep into his eyes.

“Please… Please, don’t leave me…” Ianto’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was more than Jack needed to be convinced. The fear and terror deep in the young man’s eyes were more than enough as well.

He slipped his arms out of his braces and deftly removed both his shirt and trousers and slipped under the covers alongside Ianto, pulling his shaking body down under the soft duvet. Ianto rested his head against Jack’s chest and closed his eyes, listening to the constant beating of his heart, the soothing, rhythmical pounding lulling him back into sleep.

Jack simply lay there, his young lover in his arms, their legs wound together and a feeling of safety and comfort filling the room. He resolved to stay conscious, to not slip into the waking trance he’d adopted in place of sleep. He resolved to spend the night soothing Ianto when his sleeping became fitful and to whisper comforting nothings into his ear when he started to mutter under his breath, all the time his arms wrapped tightly around his body.

He sighed and closed his eyes, a feeling of grief rising up. He didn’t know what Ianto was seeing, or what was happening to him in his spells of unconsciousness, but it must’ve been horrific to cause the man who’d been so strong merely days ago to break down like that.

And So It Begins... Again
Chapter 4: Compensation

And So It Begins... Again
Chapter 3: Repentance

And So It Begins... Again
Chapter 2: Relapse

The previous evening had been hard and tiring, but Ianto’s mind wasn’t going down without a fight. It was sometime in the early morning after Jack’s return and Ianto was sitting at his desk in the Tourist Office, finishing the paperwork on the Captain John Hart fiasco. He wasn’t sure if he’d be demoted back to ‘Administrator’ now Jack had returned, but he felt the need to finish his day’s work.

He tried his hardest to keep his head clear, but the clarity of mind that he’d enjoyed since Jack’s departure was non existent. Thoughts and memories were jostling his consciousness, vying for attention that he didn’t want to give. He sighed heavily and closed the file in front of him, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

                                        “…For you…”

            “…How are you Ianto?…”

                                      “…Dinner… A movie?…”

He was filled with annoyance at himself for accepting the date, annoyance at Jack for being so casual about everything. He couldn’t stop himself feeling the pain of his Captain’s sudden entrance into an already tense situation. He wanted nothing more than to wake up in the morning and find out it had all been a dream.

His head felt crammed and claustrophobic and a slight tint of fear was hovering around the memories of Jack, and his words from earlier echoed unhelpfully in his ears. Against his better judgement, he decided to deal with them, to file through them in chronological order and put them aside. He sighed again and folded his arms beneath his head, closing his eyes and letting the thoughts he’d been holding back flood forwards.

-I’m standing in the vaults and she’s there. I saw her die… In two bodies, and she was standing there, as alive as the day we met. She wanted me to open the rift, saying it would fix everything… but she was wrong, we were wrong… Jack was right… and he died because we didn’t trust him. I betrayed him for the ghost of Lisa when I should’ve stood by the living, breathing Jack.

Ianto frowned slightly at the memory, the pain and terror he’d felt echoing through him again.

-Owen shot him… Right through the head. I should’ve stopped them then and there, I should’ve believed him, no matter what he’d said. I thought he was dead as I knelt by him, trying to find any plausible way to bring him back… Why did Owen shoot? Out of fear, anger? I don’t know, but that shot rang in my ears. But then he woke up, gasping, panic flooding his features, his hand gripping my leg, but it was too late… We’d already opened the rift… He was too late.

The guilt that had laced his stomach for the past weeks was soothing a little by the acknowledgement of his wrong doings. Maybe this was the right decision, it would help clear everything away.

-I wished he could’ve stayed just a few more minutes, his arms around my shoulders, trying to keep himself upright. He was so tired, so weak. I should’ve tailed Gwen and followed him, not stayed behind and waited. It was almost too much to bear when we got the call from Gwen. I didn’t believe it! He’d died so many times before, this time would just take a little bit longer. We got to the field and I had to help Owen carry his body back to the SUV. His skin was so cold and pale, like marble, and when we laid him on the slab in the mortuary he looked so small, peaceful yes, but small. He didn’t belong in a place like that. He didn’t belong next to Suzie’s bullet ridden corpse. He deserved more than that.

His breathing had started to quicken as remorse re awoke within him, the image of Jack’s bloodless face still vivid behind his eyes. He could feel tears threatening and dealt with the memory. He’d finished with it and was moving on.

-The smell of his coat was so comforting, so familiar. It was all I could do not to break down on the spot. I still had duties, so I buried the pain and moved on, helping with jobs around the hub, keeping my mind filled with seemingly pointless details about the rift. I was jealous, so jealous of Gwen down in the mortuary with Jack. It should’ve been me with him, it should’ve been me holding his hand and keeping him company… but I was afraid. But he needed me…My world had shattered at the sight of his face against the shale but it was gradually healing. At least, I like to think it was… And then, 6 days later, Tosh wrangled me into fixing some piece of machinery that was barely important…

The lump that had formed in his throat on the day was rising again as Ianto sunk deeper into the memory.

-…She dropped what she was holding and ran to the other side of the hub. I couldn’t believe it. I knelt there and watched silently.. I was so scared… Was he ghost? No, the others could see him. I was walking towards him as he let go of Tosh and then I ran, stopping just short of him with my hand stretched out, suddenly afraid. Would I break him? He still looked so fragile. Then I felt his arms around me, comforting and strong as they’d ever been, but still that doubt ate away at me… Not for long though. The taste of his lips on mine was all the proof I needed. He was back!

Ianto was thoroughly lost to the memory now, the ghost of Jack’s lips on his still lingering. The echoes of shock and elation bombarding his senses, driving all other thoughts away.

-He was gone. The one time I didn’t make the coffee, he was gone. And I thought it would be forever… but he was alive, somewhere. That’s all I needed to move on, and I was slowly starting to heal. I had healed… Until tonight.

Pulling himself out of his mind, Ianto groaned and rubbed his eyes again, sleep starting to lace his now conscious mind. Everyone else had left immediately, and he didn’t know about Jack, but he’d come to his office to work. He wagered he could go home now, catch a few hours sleep.

As he looked around the darkened room for any incriminating Torchwood objects, he noticed a figure in the doorway that lead down to the hub. His eyes widened slightly in shock. Jack was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, eyes set intently on Ianto’s. He just kept staring, a look of pain and longing in them.

“Sir…?” Ianto wasn’t quite sure what to say. He hadn’t been alone with Jack since the office, and Jack had been full of things then.

“Ianto…” Jack’s voice sounded distant, almost alien. If it hadn’t been for the accent and unique way he spun the word, Ianto wouldn’t have recognised it. He seemed so different from earlier, from before. Something had changed. “Can’t you call me Jack?”

Ianto looked away and collected the files from his desk. He stood up, but hesitated on moving towards Jack, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for whatever the man might do.

“Ianto… I…” Jack stammered and broke down, leaning heavily on the doorframe and covering his face with his hands. Ianto felt a small thrill of terror in his chest before putting the files back on his desk and walking over to him, wrapping his arms around the sobbing body. Jack leaned against him and gripped onto Ianto’s shirt, burying his head in his shoulder. Ianto just stood there, arms around Jack, and closed his eyes.

“Sir… Jack. Is there anything I can do?” The annoyance and pain he’d felt at Jack’s return had faded away, leaving nothing but affection in his eyes when Jack looked up. He copied Ianto and rubbed his eyes vigorously with the heels of his hands before looking straight into Ianto’s stormy blue eyes, the ghost of his trademark grin playing on his lips.

“You know… I could really do with a cup of coffee.” Ianto grinned and laughed, letting go of Jack and returning to collect the files on his desk and to press the blue button behind it. He turned round to find another new emotion in Jack’s eyes. Trust. The mirth in his face dulled to an affectionate smile and he returned to the doorway, taking Jack’s hand in his and leading him down into the hub.

And So It Begins... Again
Chapter 1: Clarity

Consciousness fought with Ianto’s mind as it tried to surface from the dream he’d been enjoying, mere moments ago. He kept his eyes screwed shut and lay perfectly still, concentrating on the slowly fading dream. The term ‘sand through fingers’ drifted through his head and he grunted angrily, rolling out of bed and landing in a heap of dark brown linen on the floor. His early morning entrances were somewhat different from his usual appearance, so unorganised and clumsy that he almost cringed at the thought of anyone seeing him first thing in the morning, even Jack.

Jack. Captain Jack Harkness; Leader of Torchwood, part time play boy and a notorious sweet talker. They had been casual, catching minutes here and there throughout the day, or staying late to have more privacy. They'd never been more than a booty call for Jack, and booty calls didn't warrant waking up with someone in your bed in the morning.

Ianto groaned again as the memories started to flicker more clearly and extracted himself from the tangled bed clothes, staggering into the en suite bathroom and looking blearily in the mirror. He ran the cold tap and splashed the water across his face, dragging the remainder of his brain into the waking world with a sudden jerk. He looked up again and studied his face.

He smiled at himself, surprised to find that it wasn’t a half hearted ‘keep your spirits up’ smile, it was more of a ‘I feel good’ smile. He also realised that when memories of Jack had floated through his head, the painful ache in his chest that usually accompanied them was gone. Now that he thought about it, the pain had faded over the past few weeks as he adjusted to life without Jack. Granted, he still cared deeply for the man, but he no longer controlled Ianto’s state of mind. He no longer needed Jack for motivation to wake up and go to work in the morning. He enjoyed life for what it was and it was better for it.

Grinning more broadly, he set about getting ready for work. He emerged twenty minutes later, clean shaven and fully awake, a towel wrapped around his waist as he pulled out a clean suit and found a matching shirt and tie to go with it. He glanced at the clock. ‘6:45 am’, plenty of time.

He whistled a long forgotten tune as he made himself a coffee and a piece of toast. He bolted down his paultry breakfast and headed out of his flat and down to his car, climbing in and driving to the Hub, an unusual spring in his step.

***

Ianto sat at Tosh’s empty desk and swivelled around several times, fast enough to make him stumble when Tosh hit his shoulder to move him. He made his way to the stairs clumsily and sat on one of the lower ones, watching the team work. Tosh was, yet again, scanning the computer screens before her, searching for any unusual activity, before reverting to hacking some system or another… mostly likely top secret. Owen was downstairs, taking cultures and swabs of a particularly nasty alien the team had encountered and taken down the day before and Gwen was sitting at her desk.. doing whatever it was that Gwen did. Ianto had never been sure.

He smiled to himself and let his mind rove over what jobs he had for tomorrow. He was well on track and there was nothing more pressing than cleaning up the kitchen for him to do, so he went upstairs to investigate. He was just about to call the others about their next coffee when Gwen’s voice tumbled through the door.

“There’s a blowfish driving a stolen sports car in the eastern suburbs, heading into a highly populated residential area.” Ianto hurried down the stairs to Gwen’s briefing of the callout. He sighed; it was the first time today that they’d been called out and he’d been hoping to escape early. Shrugging on his jacket and buttoning it up, he took the handgun offered to him by Tosh and followed the others out of the Hub, to the SUV.

They soon had the sports car in sight and were following it through the suburbs, having to stop only once to ask an old lady whether she’d seen the alien. After that, it had been a simple matter of following the screeching brakes and slightly salty air.

Ianto rolled his eyes as Owen passed the steering wheel to Gwen and started shooting at the sports car, sending it careering off the road. He pulled out his handgun, double checked the bullets and made sure the safety was off. This was one of the least pleasant aspects of his job. He wouldn’t have traded it in for anything else on offer, but he still couldn’t stomach pulling the trigger on anyone, not after having to shoot Owen. He pushed the memories away concentrated on the highly charged atmosphere around him as the team hurried from the SUV and into a house as they heard gunshots.

Less than a minute later, Ianto’s gun was pointing at the head of the blowfish, whose gun, in turn, was pointing at the head of a girl who had hold of by the neck. Fluent curses streamed through Ianto’s head as the blowfish started talking, his sarcastic tones attacking the other three Torchwood members before turning themselves on him.

“…Which leaves me with the office boy, promoted beyond his measure.”

- God, those gills are distracting… But maybe he’s right…Would Jack have promoted me?

“All of you, lost without your master. All of you pretending to be so brave. All of you so scared!”

- It’s just big talk, he doesn’t know, he’s not right…But I am scared, and I don't want to pull this trigger...

“So what about it minion? Can you do it? How good are you? How sharp is your aim?”

- Sharp enough…Or is it…When was the last time I fired a gun and felt confident?

“What if you kill her?”

- No.. No, I wouldn’t be holding this gun if I wasn’t good enough… I won’t kill her, I won’t…But is that a risk I'm willing to take?

“What if I kill her first? Can you shoot before I do? Can you?”

Yes… Yes…

“Dare you? Would you? Won’t you?!”

Ianto’s finger hesitated for a split second as doubt flooded him, but a shot still rang out, a bullet finding its way straight through the blowfish’s head, confusion in its wake. Ianto stared at his gun, not sure what had happened, how it had happened… He spun round to find the killer, half expecting an alien worse than the corpse on the floor, but his eyes met with something much more welcome, the all too familiar grin still in its rightful place…

“Hey kids, d’you miss me?”

Jack was back.

Flatlined asked me to draw some t-shirt designs for his band that he'd thought up, so I did it and I'm pretty proud of what came out of it!

Death by Lime

Livin' Like A Hobo

Apparently, there's already requests for t-shirts, so I dunno!
Maybe I could make a career out of it ><

I dun want this post up anymore, so here's some happy pictures to look at!

[I don't remember what the first one was -probably just me in love with his smile- the second is him answering 'Do you ever find yourself mimicing the habits of your characters' and replying with Roy's finger click and 'If only you knew what this meant...' and that third is his first answer to that question, immitating Roy walking down the street and pumping his muscles at all the ladies =D]



He makes me happy =]

Those photos are screen shots from the following con panel:
[These are as much for my benefit as yours =P]

Anime Boston 2007 by AmuroGabe

Part 1: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JVdOILNTkpw
Part 2: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e5zJoKtE4Nw
Part 3: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YDNQgLm-umQ
Part 4: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=220q_u3YEDU
Part 5: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=J1-a9gknw_A
Part 6: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=q0lkS90-F7w

[All together, they're just under an hour long, but anyone who like's Travis should enjoy them ^^]

AFO 8 by Kristine1990

Part 1: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TaU9VL7MtpI
Part 2: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lHcDldiPchg
Part 3: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0H5dF6eifjg
Part 4: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MTZTpDgdlMY
Part 5: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LE3t84Zg04U

[Another good panel of him!]

Enjoy everyone! [I know I will]

Okay.. so this is my first LJ entry. I guess I made it to get things off my chest where no one I know IRL can see them.

I guess just a brief intro, as most people to read this will know me from Gaia. I'm the one with the bandana on in my pic, the other is Rosie. She's got to be one of the coolest and weirdest girls I know! She's totally crazy, and we have awesome time when we're together. She's even taking me to see Paramore (we bought tickets) in September, which is pretty damn cool in my opinion! But onto the emoish blog part,

[emoness]
I had a pretty good day today actually! I met up with my best friend, and we bummed around the shops and park, and had a good talk, which we haven't had for a very long time. We talked about life, families, the future.. you know, all the jazz you don't generally talk to unless you're in a deep conversation.

I realised how I've hit this wall, and I feel like I'm glued into this preset state of being a good little girl.. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I never live dangerously or compulsively. I feel pretty suffocated though, and to be honest, I just want to go out and get completely shit faced, just to say that I have. I want to see how my alcohol it takes to make me forget my postcode (not so far that I forget my last name), I want to know what it's like to be stoned on weed and I want to know what smoking is like, just to try one cigarette.

I know people will say it's for my own good that my parents are protective, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I have to be just like my brother, perfect at school and sensible. I'm not like him though, and I never will be. I'm not as intelligent and I'm more rebellious, but I have no way to vent it. This makes my future all the more real and unforgiving.

My brother has just finished secondary school (he's 18) and he's probably going to one of the 3 prestigious colleges in England, Cambridge. This will lead to bigger and better things for him, as he's a maths genius and extremely intelligent. 

However! I'm not like that at all. My strength lies in my creativity, my artistic and my writing skills. Although i enjoy this, and I wish to make it a career, I can't see any way to use those skills and be successful. I want to make my parents proud of me, to make them say 'That's our daughter! The famous author!'  or something along those lines, yet I doubt that will ever happen.

So yep! I'm in the middle of a mild identity crisis, and I don't want to grow up anymore.

EDIT: Things are looking up though, I found out that my boyfriend ISN'T dead, he's just been away for the week on a surprise holiday ^^ I called him, and autmatically feel ALOT better about today.. it's a good thing that 'Kyle: My anti drug'
[/emoness]

I will probably use this as an outlet for my comic strips and for my writing, so make sure you check it at least weekly =]